A funny thing happened
by shadowjadis
Summary: Dedicated to my friend Adi for inspiring me. After a wild night out with the girls, Lynette wakes up with quite a hangover... and wondering what happened while she was drunk. Post-season 5.
1. Lynette wakes up

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Lynette's POV

I wake up late. I open my eyes. I smile between the sheets. God, what a night! My head is aching. Ouch! Too much tequila… The girls went really wild. But it was worth it. If that wasn't the best sex I've ever had! Tom was amazing. Better than ever. He had never touched me like that. I just loved it. How did that happen though? I probably seduced him when I arrived home. I was so drunk... Hey, wait a second! Tom left for college the day before yesterday… He couldn't be here. Oh-oh! But we did do it… didn't we? Oh no, don't tell me that wasn't Tom! Who was it then?! Geez, I must be still dreaming! I _hope_ I'm still dreaming. But the headache is just too real. Oh, hang on! This is not my room! It's not _my_ house! Where the hell am I?! Please, tell me I'm in Tom's dorm… but I'm afraid it doesn't look like that. Too tidy to be a college guy's room. I reach out. There's someone else. Naked! And I'm naked too! Oh my god! Don't look! Don't look! Ok, Lynette, calm down. Try to think logically. So I went out with the girls… and we had dinner… and we drank… too much… Deep breath. Now slowly turn around and… I can't look! God, what did I do?! Alright, try to remember. Impossible. Damn, I need an aspirin. If at least I knew where I am…

'Morning!' a voice next to me says… a _female_ voice.

God, what did I do?! Oh shit! I think I'm starting to remember now…


	2. 14 hours before

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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The day before, 7 p.m.

'That's ridiculous!' Preston protested, running upstairs behind his mother, who was still finishing dressing up for the evening 'I'm not gonna let my little brother babysit me!'

'Sweetie, I'm sorry, but McCluskey is visiting her sister, so she couldn't make it' Lynette replied, looking at herself in the mirror and tidying her hair with her hands.

'That's exactly the point – I'm almost eighteen, I don't need a babysitter!'

'Yes, you do. Do I have to remind you of the party your brother and you organized when your father and I went away for our anniversary? Or the time when we left you all alone and we ended up in the emergency room…?'

'Fine, I get it' Preston interrupted angrily 'But why am I supposed to obey Parker? I'm the big brother?'

Lynette turned to her son and stared at him.

'Listen, do you want to travel to Europe next month?'

Preston nodded.

'Then you'll do whatever Parker tells you to'

Ignoring her son's expression of frustration and his complaints, she put on her earrings and walked downstairs to talk to her younger son, Parker, before leaving.

'Parker, honey, I'm running really late, but I need to know that you have everything very clear'

'Yes, mum' he answered 'Not answering the door, Penny has to be in bed at nine, keep an eye on Preston and if there's any problem we can call you on your cell phone'

'You're surely my only hope!' she said as she hugged him 'You guys take care!'

'Have fun, mum'

Still wondering whether everything would be fine, she got in her car. She checked her make-up in the rear-view mirror before starting the engines. She could not remember the last time she had looked so pretty. Of course, since she had begun to work with Carlos, she was forced to wear more elegant clothes. However, on that evening, wearing that green dress and high-heeled shoes, she had to think of the times when she and Tom were younger and did not have children, when they used to go out with friends. It was unbelievable that almost twenty years had passed.

Lynette cast her eyes all over the restaurant where she was meeting her friends. It was going to be a girls night out – no men, no kids, just drinking and gossiping. But first of all, they were having dinner together. She had been looking forward to it for so long... Finally, Susan noticed her and waved from the table.

'Hi, sorry I'm late' Lynette excused herself 'I left Parker in charge of the other two and had to make sure everything was ok'

'I can perfectly understand you' Gabby said 'With Tom and Porter in college and McCluskey away… Geez, it'd scare the crap out of me to have Ana babysit the girls. Thank God I have Carlos'

'I'm also so glad to have Mike there to take care of MJ tonight' Susan added.

'Didn't we say no men and no kids?' there was a certain touch of irritation in Katherine's voice.

'Katherine's right' Gabby agreed 'Isn't this a girls night out? Time to gossip! Any news anyone?'

'Well, not much except for… guess who's publishing a new cookbook!' Bree smirked proudly.

'No way!' Susan exclaimed 'How can you have enough material for that? I can count my recipes on one hand'

'Karl suggested it when we were figuring out how to go about my divorce, and we're working on it right now'

'And I'm co-writing it, by the way' Katherine smiled.

'Wow, if it's as successful as the first one you guys are going to become rich and famous' Gabby commented 'By the way, how are things going with Karl?'

'Oh, it's fine. Now with Orson out of the way we've decided to take things a bit more slowly'

'So Lynette, how's Porter doing in college? Did you hear from him?' Susan changed the subject, obviously uncomfortable.

'Taking into account that he's only called once so far, I guess it means that he's having fun' Lynette replied 'So much for his father'

'Going back to college at 45…' Gabby commented 'He really has some guts! Especially the part with moving to some students' dorm'

'I don't think I'd be able to go back to college right now' Susan said 'I'd feel like I was everyone's grandma!'

'Well, I have the feeling that Tom won't have this problem… deep down he's a child too'

All of them laughed at Lynette's comment.

'I think I would like to go back to college' Katherine admitted 'I have many nice memories of that time, but there are still certain things I would have wanted to be different'

'What do you mean?' Bree wondered.

'Let's say I could go back in time. I had a great time as a student, but one of the greatest things about studying is not the learning itself, but all the experimenting around. And I didn't get that much of that, as I met Wayne and… well, you know the rest of the story' she took the glass to her lips.

As Katherine spoke, Lynette had to think of her studying years and could not help but relating to that. She remembered how hard-working she had always been… almost a nerd. Her ambitions had not left her much time to mess around, as she was mostly busy preparing exams. In fact, she had had to end several relationships because they were distracting her too much. She had never told this to anyone… but that was something she regretted. She would have never expected to have such a thing in common with Katherine.

'I know what you mean' she said 'God, I also miss those days. And now Tom will be having all this wild fun while I come home after work and get bored'

'Well, being alone at home doesn't necessarily have to be anything bad' Gabby pointed out 'Think about it – you pretty much have the whole house for yourself. You can even run around naked if you like… oh well, except for the kids'

'Gabby's right' Susan agreed 'You can have great fun on your own. There's no need to get depressed'

'Of course not!' Bree joined in 'There are many things you can do. And you don't need to stay at home all the time'

'Thank you, guys, but it's not the same' Lynette looked at Bree 'You have Karl' then she turned to Susan 'You have Mike and MJ' and then to Gabby 'And you have Carlos and the girls. My kids are growing up and… god, this makes me feel so old…'

'Then ask the expert' Katherine intervened with a wry smile 'I am pretty much in the same situation. A whole house for myself, no little kids… no husband' her eyes looked furtively at Susan with a certain anger.

'Yeah, that's true' Lynette nodded 'And you always seem to be alright. How do you do it?'

Katherine shrugged.

'Let's say I'm kind of used to it. Of course, it's always nice to have someone to come home to, but being single and free also has its advantages. First of all, you can concentrate more on your work. And apart from that, you have more time to meet friends, travel around, relax… Sometimes I just enjoy having a warm, long bath with no-one disturbing me'

'Hmm, that sounds good' Gabby commented 'That's something you can't do when your house is crowded… like mine'

The waiter came to take their order.

'Come on, this is supposed to be a fun night' Katherine suggested when he asked about the drinks 'How about ordering some nice red wine?'

'Not for me' Bree answered 'You know I can't drink'

On the other hand, the rest agreed with Katherine's suggestion, so they ordered a bottle of wine for all of them. They continued the chit-chat until the food and drink arrived.

'This is so nice!' Gabby commented as she had a sip of wine.

'It is' Lynette agreed 'That was a good choice, Katherine'

'It's a shame I can't have it too' Bree smiled at Katherine 'She has a very good taste'

'Yeah, we all know that. Not only for wine though' Susan added in a whisper.

'In fact, it was not exactly my idea' Katherine admitted 'I discovered it thanks to Edie'

'Oh, yes, good old Edie' Gabby said dreamily 'Don't you guys miss her at times?'

'Well, at times' Bree replied 'We did have our rows, but deep down she was a good person'

'And she was fun' Lynette intervened 'There was no way to get bored with her. But I had the feeling that I never got to know her completely'

'And who did?' Katherine exclaimed 'We were never too close, but I have to admit that she was the first one I started to have something to do with… before you started inviting me to your poker evenings, I mean. Actually, we had a couple of things in common. Who would have thought?'

'Yes, we also know that' Susan muttered.

What was wrong with them? Lynette had been observing them all evening and she had noticed the tension between them. To her surprise, although she had never been too close to Katherine, she could perfectly put herself in her place. She knew the whole story with Susan and Mike and could imagine how much she was suffering, even though she would never show it. In any case, at that moment someone needed to say something and distract them before the battle began…

'You know what? I kind of wish she was here right now' she said the first thing that came to her mind 'She was so much fun, she'd surely have an idea how to spice up a night like this'

'Sure' Gabby backed 'If there was something she was definitely good at, it was spicing things up – in company or alone'

'Oh, yeah, you see, Lynette?' Katherine grinned at her 'Edie was the greatest example of someone who can have fun alone'

'Technically, having sex doesn't count as spending time on your own' Susan pointed out.

'It depends on how you see it' Katherine retorted, and upon realizing what she had just said, she giggled 'Oh gosh, I'm sorry!'

'Looks like someone has drunk a little too much!' Gabby joked.

'Sorry…'

'Hey, you don't need to apologize, it's kind of fun to see you like this' Gabby interrupted 'And hey, for what is worth, I'm kind of tipsy too'

'Same here' Susan joined in.

Lynette got strangely jealous. Drinking had never been her hobby, but seeing her friends loosening up, she felt like joining them. For a moment, she remembered that evening years before when she had been having margaritas with Gabby and Susan by her porch. It was a nice memory. After all, in the last few weeks she had been slightly depressed for many reasons… she deserved a little bit of fun. So she took her glass and drank the remaining wine in a gulp.

Bree rolled her eyes at the kindergarten she was hanging out with.

'Aren't you going a bit far, girls?' she observed with her usual politeness.

'Ok, true' Gabby recognized 'If we go on like this, we'll have to order another bottle soon'

'Hell, why not?' Lynette surprised herself exclaiming 'It's on me!'

'Wow, thanks, Lynette!' Susan told her.

'Are you sure it's a good idea?' Bree whispered to Lynette.

She knew her friend had been an alcoholic before, so she was quite sensitive with the topic. However, she was in the mood for a drink…

'Well, it's a girls' night out, isn't it?' she justified herself 'Let's do it right!'

Lynette called the waiter and ordered another bottle of wine. Susan, Gabby and Katherine cheered. Bree sighed. She felt like she was surrounded by a group of teenagers.

'I see you're really adapting to your new lifestyle' Gabby grinned to Lynette.

'Girls, what is it with you tonight?' Bree wondered, shocked 'You're talking about Tom like he had left Lynette or like he was dead…'

'Even worse – he's back at university' Susan responded 'That means he'll be surrounded by twenty-something-year-old college girls…'

'Oh, great and that's exactly what Lynette needs' Bree told her off 'Jealousy and being encouraged to… go wild'

'Come on, we all know that's never happening' Gabby intervened 'Tom is a sweetheart and Lynette is like the queen of monogamy'

Lynette's face tensed a little. So that was how her friends saw her? The queen of monogamy? She was not the kind of person who lets herself be influenced or affected by other people's opinions… but that term spelled 'boring' to her. Gabby seemed to notice her reaction.

'I'm sorry, honey' she took Lynette's hand 'You know deep down we envy you'

'Totally' Susan agreed.

'No, I'm fine'

Lucky for her, the new bottle of wine arrived that very instant. She poured a little in her glass and had a sip. Katherine was the next one to take the bottle.

'How many glasses have you had already, my dear?' Bree asked her.

Katherine shrugged.

'Probably too many' she smiled 'I'm already quite dizzy'

'Don't you think you should stop?' Bree suggested.

Katherine stared at her.

'Sweetie, thanks for being so caring, but seriously, I'm fine!'

'It's a girls' night out, you _are_ supposed to get a little tipsy' Gabby said.

Bree was feeling rather uncomfortable. As much as she would have liked to join her friends, she knew that it was not a good idea. The dangers of alcohol were still like a tattoo on her brain.

'You know what would be missing for a real girls' night out? A hottie!' Katherine laughed.

'Katherine!' Bree exclaimed.

'Oops, sorry… that's the effect red wine usually has on me'

'Oh my god! You're the last person from whom I would have expected to hear such comments!' Gabby chuckled.

'Hey, we all have our needs!' Katherine replied.

'Absafuckinlutely' Gabby toasted with Katherine and they both drank.

'Oh, please, let's not get started with sex' Lynette begged 'I'm kind of alone now, don't you remember?'

'Maybe you should pay a visit to Tom in his dorm' Gabby joked.

'Good idea' Katherine nodded 'It's probably not the most romantic place, but sure there's a way to sex it up'

Bree could not stand it anymore. She had the impression that the whole restaurant was staring at them. Even though she loved her friends, she was feeling slightly embarrassed by their behavior.

'Please, could you bring the bill?' she shouted to the waiter.

**To be continued…**


	3. 11 hours before

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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10 p.m.

After paying, the girls said goodbye to Bree outside the restaurant. She excused herself saying that she was going to spend the night with Karl, so she did not want to stay out until late. Besides, she could not drink. They all knew that she was probably kind of upset, but what could she expect in their state of mind? In the end, they decided that they would go see her the day after and say they were sorry.

'So, where shall we go right now?' Katherine asked.

'I'd like to go dancing!' Gabby suggested 'I haven't in a long time'

'Oh, good idea!' Katherine supported with a smile.

'I know this fabulous place where they play latin music, we could go there' Gabby turned to Susan and Lynette 'What about you guys?'

'Sorry, I don't think I'm drunk enough to dance yet' Lynette replied.

'Me neither'

'Well, that has a solution!' Katherine grinned.

In the end, they chose to go for a drink first. They stopped by a nice Irish pub where there was live music playing. On every wooden table there was a candle, which gave the place a romantic touch. Besides, as it was quite small, it looked pretty intimate.

The four women sat around a table which was far enough from the musicians to be able to talk without having to raise their voices, but still close enough to listen to the music. They took it in turns to go to the counter and order some drinks.

'I had never been to this place before' Susan commented 'But it's kind of nice'

'I think it's the best Irish pub in town' Katherine said, toying with her glass of baileys 'And trust me, I know what I'm talking about…'

'The music is also good' Lynette remarked.

'Not to mention the waiters' Gabby grinned 'The one behind the counter is a cutie'

'Yeah, isn't he?' Katherine agreed, looking at the waiter 'Wait until he turns, he has a really sweet booty…'

'Katherine!' Susan exclaimed slightly shocked.

'What?'

'What is wrong with you tonight? You're so…'

'Oh, I'm looking at guys, what a surprise!' Katherine joked 'Well, I have eyes as well!'

'Hey, he just turned!' Gabby interrupted, giggling excitedly.

Lynette also followed the direction where Gabby was pointing with her eyes. The man was indeed good-looking, but she did not find him that extremely attractive. The only thing she could think of was Tom. Would he also be looking like that at college girls? She felt that it was time to stop worrying, and the best way to calm her worries would be to drink. She took her glass of baileys to her lips and drank it all in a gulp.

'Wow, that was quick' Katherine grinned at her 'I'm going for a whiskey shot, anyone want one?'

'I'm in!' Gabby raised her hand.

'Me too!' Lynette said.

'Alright' Susan joined in, with not much enthusiasm.

Katherine went to the bar and came back five minutes later with for shot glasses. She gave one to each of them.

'Let's toast' she said 'To… friendship!'

'Are you sure you want to drink it?' Susan questioned 'You already seem to be pretty drunk'

Katherine gazed at her irritated.

'Hon, I have Irish blood' she told her 'I could win a drinking competition against the three of you together!'

'Well, then let's keep drinking!' Gabby intervened 'To friendship!'

The four of them toasted and drank their shots in one gulp. After the whiskey shot, Lynette was already feeling quite dizzy. But she liked the sensation. She found herself drifting away and getting lost in the music that was playing… nothing really mattered.

'We really have to go dancing. I know this really nice club where they play latin music' Gabby suggested.

'Yes, salsa dancing!' Katherine exclaimed 'I'm game!'

'Me too, but that's not fair' Lynette spoke.

'Why not?'

'We've been to an Irish pub, then to a latin club… then we should go to a Swedish tavern!' she joked.

Katherine and Gabby laughed… not really sure whether it was because of the comment or the alcohol.

'You're Swedish?' Katherine asked Lynette.

'Well, at least I have Swedish ancestors' she explained 'My maiden name, Lindquist, is Swedish'

'She's even blonde' Gabby pointed out between laughter.

'I spent a summer in Sweden when I was young' Katherine commented 'The landscape was nice… but the best by far were the people. That country is full of hotties!'

Susan rolled her eyes. Katherine noticed that and stared at her challengingly.

'What is it now?'

'Are you listening to yourself?' Susan told her off 'Sounds like you desperately need to get laid!'

'No, the question is are _you_ listening to _yourself_?' Katherine retorted 'Since when are you so prudish?'

'I'm not prudish! I just think you sound like some horny teenager. Shouldn't you start behaving like the grandmother you are?'

'I'm only three years older than you! But I think mentally I'm much younger than you… or that's what it looks like tonight'

'Well, could you stop being so young? It's getting annoying!'

Katherine chuckled.

'_I_ am annoying? Well, let me tell you that I still have a long way to go until I get to your level, dear!'

Lynette and Gabby watched the fight, not daring to come between them. In Lynette's case, there were two reasons for that. Not only was she scared because the ones in the middle are always the first ones to get hurt… but also because she would not know what side she was on. While Susan and she had been friends for a long time and she did not have that much to do with Katherine, she did not like the way she was acting. Childish as it was, she could understand why Katherine was upset and constantly making gibes against Susan. After all, if it had happened to her, she would have also felt that Susan had stolen him from her.

'My level? What do you mean by that?'

'Your level of annoyingness, of course!'

'Does anyone want anything to drink?' Gabby stood up and tried to change the subject.

'Perhaps it would have been useful for you to be more like me' Susan snapped.

'Of course, being a clumsy drama queen is one of the most useful things in life'

'One more whiskey shot, anyone?' Gabby shouted.

'No, tell me' Katherine went on, ignoring Gabby's question 'Why would it be useful for me to be like you?'

Susan stared at Katherine and made a pause before replying.

'Well, just look who's alone now' she finally said.

'I surrender' Gabby sat down again.

'You didn't just say that!' Katherine exclaimed 'For your information, I wouldn't be alone if you hadn't gotten in the way'

'He never loved you!' Susan yelled 'I was the one he wanted all along, and you were just… some pastime! No wonder he got bored of you so soon, being such a stuffy and boring woman!'

She had just gone too far. Katherine's eyes were starting to fill with tears. It was clear to see that she was having a hard time holding them back.

'Gabby, go and get those whiskey shots, I'll be right back' Katherine said before walking away.

Lynette felt terribly sorry for her. At that moment, she would have wanted to slap Susan across the face. Katherine had indeed been mean to Susan, but what she had just said was very cruel, especially knowing that Katherine was probably not yet over Mike. Perhaps the alcohol was already affecting her, as in a fraction of a second she made the decision of running after Katherine.

**To be continued…**


	4. 10 hours before

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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11 p.m.

Lynette found Katherine in the toilet, sobbing desperately. She took a tissue from her purse and handed it to her.

'Thank you' Katherine said weakly.

'You're welcome, but stop crying. It's not worth it'

Katherine looked at her, her eyes still wet. Lynette continued.

'I know, what she said to you was terrible, but you shouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing you like that. She doesn't deserve it'

'But she's right' Katherine cried 'He never loved me. And no-one will love me because I've become a total grandma'

'No, no, don't say that' Lynette hugged her and let Katherine rest her head on her shoulder 'Listen, that's not you talking. It's just the booze'

'But I'm so ridiculous' Katherine broke the embrace and turned to see herself in the mirror 'Look at me! I'm an almost menopausal woman who's still single and drinking like a college girl… trying to be a college girl'

'You're not! Take a good look at yourself' Lynette pointed at the mirror 'Do you see a grandma? No, because there's none! What I see is a very strong and attractive mature woman'

'Isn't that a euphemism for grandma?'

'You're not making this too easy' Lynette muttered 'Seriously, Katherine, have a look again. You're stylish, you're smart and I know many teenage girls who'd like to have your body'

'Do you really mean it or is it the alcohol talking?' Katherine wondered.

They both laughed, not knowing exactly why.

'Maybe' Lynette recognized 'But what I know is that you shouldn't make such a fuss of Mike. He didn't appreciate you? Then fuck him! You don't need him. You don't need anyone, in fact. You've always been so independent and strong…'

'Is that really the way you see me?'

Lynette nodded her head and put her arm around Katherine's shoulders.

'And you know what?' she added 'I don't think you're annoying because you're drunk. The truth is that I think you're very funny'

Katherine dried her tears and smiled to her. She looked at herself in the mirror once again and tidied her hair.

'Thank you, Lynette' she said 'You're absolutely right! I shouldn't give a damn about a stupid plumber and I shouldn't let his wife ruin my evening'

'Of course not!' Lynette supported her 'So now let's go out there and have fun'

'Yes, sure' Katherine turned her face to look at Lynette 'Fancy a drink? I'd like to buy one for you'

'I have a better idea. Why don't we drink Gabby's shots and then go dancing?'

'I like that!'

Katherine left the toilet, followed by Lynette. She took a glance at Katherine. She looked pretty good from behind. She was wearing a beautiful dress which enhanced her nice figure. Definitely, she was not lying when she had told her many teenagers would want to have her body – even Lynette herself would have wanted to have a body like hers.

'You're back' Gabby exclaimed when they both reached the table 'Is everything alright?'

'Yeah, it's fine' Lynette replied.

Gabby slid two shot glasses across the table to them.

'We were thinking that we could go dancing after the shots' Katherine suggested.

'Yes, please!' Gabby responded happily.

'Well, if we all agree, then let's toast and off we go!' Lynette raised her shot glass.

'To fun!' Gabby said.

'To fun!' the other three repeated in unison.

They drank their whiskey shots at the same time and then left the pub. As she got out, Lynette felt the cooler air of the night hitting her face, like awaking her. However, she was not cold and still felt a bit of dizziness, but it was enjoyable.

Gabby led them to the latin club. It was amazing that even being slightly tipsy she managed to find her way. The bar of the disco was decorated to look like a beach bar and they served a whole variety of cocktails. In the middle of the place, a dozen of couples were dancing to Caribbean rhythms on a big dancefloor. Gabby joined them at once, swaying her hips to the music in a cute way, making her miniskirt wave graciously.

'Come on, I need a partner!' she reached out her hand into their direction.

'I think I'm going to get one more drink' Susan turned away immediately.

Katherine took Gabby's hand.

'I'll dance with you' she said.

Lynette watched the two of them step on the dancefloor and start moving right away. It was plain that Gabby had it in her blood. She danced gracefully and looked really happy – on her element. However, what surprised Lynette was that Katherine had little to envy her. Her moves adapted perfectly to Gabby's and her hips were shaking in perfect time with the music. She was also very elegant. Who would have thought! Katherine, that uptight neighbour of hers, dancing salsa like that! She could not believe her eyes.

Seeing them there facing each other, their arms wrapped around their bodies and their behinds shaking in such a cute way, Lynette felt strangely jealous. She had never been much of a dancer, but they both were smiling and seemed to be having so much fun… Lynette would have liked to join them, but in spite of all the alcohol she had had, she did not dare to try…

'Got myself a caipirinha' Susan announced as she joined her. She followed Lynette's gaze and noticed Gabby and Katherine 'Oh, wow! I'd never seen Gabby in action before!'

Lynette nodded.

'She's so good! I'm definitely not dancing tonight' Susan claimed.

Barely had she finished the phrase when Gabrielle came towards her, holding out her hand. Susan shook her head.

'No, please! I still haven't finished the cocktail'

'Oh, come on!' Gabby begged 'It'll be just fun!'

'But I'm a terrible d…'

She could not finish the sentence, since Gabby had already grabbed her arm and dragged her to the dancefloor. So she had no way out. Lynette observed the scene, Susan's caipirinha in hand, not noticing the hand that was reaching out for her.

'Hey, don't you wanna dance?' Katherine's voice brought her back to reality.

'Oh… alright' she hesitated.

Katherine took her hand and put her other hand on Lynette's shoulder. She began to move right away, just as gracefully and elegantly as before. Lynette looked down, trying to follow her feet.

'Hey, look at me, not at the floor' Katherine told her 'It'll just confuse you more'

'But I don't know how this goes'

'Ok, let me help you' Katherine offered 'First left leg forward, then right leg back… forward… back… forward… back. Just listen to the music… and don't look down!'

Lynette did what she had said. Slowly, she realized that it was not as difficult as she had expected. It was even fun.

'Very good!' Katherine smiled to her 'I see you're a quick learner'

'Thanks!' Lynette replied 'I had no idea you could dance so well! Where did you learn?'

'They have dancing lessons in the community centre, so I went to check them out. Just for fun' Katherine explained.

'Wow, but you must have been dancing for a long time…'

'I had already learnt a bit back in Chicago, but then I stopped for a while… On the whole, three years or so, I'd say'

'Whoever taught you definitely did a great job!'

'Hey, thank you!'

They kept on dancing for a while and even dared to include some small turns. Lynette found herself smiling and having great fun, finally letting herself go. Katherine was a good teacher, she thought. She also could not help being amazed at how different she was after a few drinks. When they had first met, Lynette had always seen her neighbour as a very uptight and rather dull woman. She would have surely been her last choice when it comes to having a fun night out with someone… she could not believe how wrong she was with her.

Suddenly she felt a hand poking her. Lynette turned and saw a young man, no doubt Hispanic, holding his hand out to her.

'Wanna dance?' he asked.

She briefly turned to Katherine, as though asking her what to do.

'Just go' Katherine told her.

They both parted and Lynette turned to face the man, who held her right away and began to move. He danced like a professional. She tried to follow him, but it was impossible. He was just too fast for her. Lynette searched for Katherine with her look. Her neighbour had already found another partner and they both seemed to coordinate their moves pretty well. Doing her best to concentrate, she resumed her attempt to dance with the latin lover who was holding her… no way! Then she saw Katherine making her way to her.

'Can I borrow her again?' she asked Lynette's partner.

He nodded and Katherine held Lynette again.

'I didn't want to interrupt you guys' Katherine said 'But I had the feeling that you were a bit lost…'

'More than a bit' Lynette recognized 'Thanks for saving me. It's nicer to dance with you, you're so much easier to follow…'

'Glad to hear that' she smiled.

At that very moment, the music changed. A popular song from the 80s, Kaoma's _Lambada_, started to play. Katherine seemed pretty excited.

'I love this one!' she exclaimed.

She put Lynette's arms around her own nicely shaped waist and began to shake her behind sensually to the music. Although she felt kind of shocked and lost, she liked it. That song also brought nice memories from her younger times to her mind. Besides, seeing Katherine move like that was somehow hypnotic. She could not stop looking at her. Shaking her head to get back to reality, she tried to imitate her movements.

'Hey, that looks great!' Katherine said to her 'Not bad at all for the first time'

'Sweetie, I've seen the video a thousand times and I've danced to this tune a couple of them too. Dunno whether it qualifies for the first time' Lynette informed her.

'Well, it's really good anyway'

Both women danced on, a bit more freely than the previous songs. There was no trace of Gabby and Susan. They must be lost in the crowd, Lynette thought to herself. More and more people had joined them on the dancefloor, so it would have been impossible to find anyone. And she was having a too good time to worry about anything. For a while, she had stopped thinking of Tom. Tom… when was the last time he had danced with her? She did not want to let such nostalgic thoughts ruin her evening, so she shook it off her head.

Sadly, the song was already over. Both of them were sweating a little. Katherine fanned herself with one hand.

'I think I need a rest. Wanna drink something?' she suggested.

Lynette nodded and followed her. They sat on two stools at the bar.

'How about tequila?' Katherine asked 'Do you like it?'

'Yeah, tequila is fine' Lynette agreed.

'Alright' Katherine took some money from her purse 'I pay!'

**To be continued…**


	5. 9 hours before

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

12 p.m.

Five minutes later, the waiter brought two shot glasses, two slices of lemon and a salt shaker. Katherine put some salt on the back of her hand and on Lynette's. They both licked it at the same time. Then they raised their glasses.

'To dancing!' Lynette suggested.

'Oh, good one!' Katherine smiled and she toasted and drunk.

It had been quite some time since Lynette had last had tequila. She felt its bitter taste and how it slightly burnt her throat. Then she took the lemon slice to her mouth and bit it. Katherine laughed because of the expression on Lynette's face.

'Tequila is not my thing either' she said 'But it kind of fits in this place, doesn't it?'

Lynette nodded her head.

'So… do you come here very often?' she tried to start a conversation.

'No, but from now I'm definitely coming more often. Gabby has a good taste'

'Yes, she definitely does. She's the fun one… well, apart from you'

Katherine grinned, surprised by that comment.

'Well, thank you!' she said 'You're probably the only person who thinks so, but thank you'

'Hey, I mean it' Lynette insisted 'I had no idea you were so… lively'

'Yeah, especially when I'm drunk' Katherine joked 'No, seriously, I'm glad you think so. Most people just see me as a boring bitch'

'Ok, to be honest, I always thought that you were kind of weird' Lynette recognized 'I knew you were the one who suggested making lunch for me and offered to go to chemotherapy with me even though you didn't know me… and then suddenly we had that argument about the treehouse…'

'You still remember that all?' Katherine exclaimed.

'Well, yeah! It's sort of hard to forget… And it's no secret that you're a very complicated person. But once you open up… wow! You're amazing!'

'Aaaw, that's sweet!' Katherine took Lynette's hand and smiled tenderly at her 'I had no idea you had these thoughts about me… That deserves a toast'

'Two more tequila shots, please!' Lynette called over the bar.

Shortly after she ordered, the waiter brought the shots. With salt and lemon, of course. Both women raised their glasses and toasted.

'You know what?' Katherine said, her eyes closed as the taste of the lemon sent a chill down her spine 'I know we never had much to do with each other, but I like you too, Lynette. I think we should meet more often'

'Yeah!' Lynette agreed enthusiastically 'Let's toast to that too!'

Not knowing exactly why, seconds later each one of them was holding another tequila glass in her hand.

'To friendship!' Katherine suggested.

'Didn't we toast to that before?' Lynette asked.

'Who cares? You can never celebrate friendship enough. Or well, let's say… to _our_ friendship!'

Lynette giggled a bit too loud.

'What?' Katherine wondered, raising one eyebrow.

'God, we're so drunk! We're celebrating our friendship… that sounds very drunk'

'So what?' Katherine grinned 'We're just having fun'

'True, and I toast to that!' Lynette made her glass meet with Katherine's.

Both of them drunk their tequilas in a gulp and bit the lemon slices at the same time.

'You're absolutely right' Lynette suddenly said 'We should meet more often'

'Sure!'

'Especially because I think I'm gonna need you' the expression on Lynette's face was not that cheerful anymore.

'Why's that?' Katherine leaned her elbow on the table.

'Well, because… I'm sorry' Lynette looked down with a shy smile 'I know this is going to sound terrible, but I'm going to need your help. Now that I'm alone, there are a couple of things I could learn about you… hope I didn't offend you'

'No, not at all. I'm just surprised. Why are you so insecure about this all?'

'I know it's silly' Lynette admitted 'But I've never been away from Tom for such a long time. There was a time when he was most of the time going on business trips, but it'd only be something like a week, not more. Besides, the kids were still very young and I was always busy with them. But now they're growing up quickly and I feel kind of lonely. Not to mention that just the thought of Tom being surrounded by attractive college girls makes me sick'

'So you've always been together?'

'Yes' Lynette replied 'Since we started dating, we haven't been apart for more than one week. Two at the most. Cheesy as it sounds, he's the love of my life. My first and only one. I never had such a deep relationship with anyone and I know I never will'

'Hmm, I understand what you mean. I met Wayne when I was still at university. I was very innocent at that time and he was my first love, so I totally fell for him. And we all know what he turned out to be like… You're so lucky!' Katherine smiled at Lynette with slightly wet eyes 'At least you can be sure that Tom is a good person. I envy you for that. But don't you sometimes have the feeling that you missed something?'

Lynette sighed.

'Yes, actually yes. But I keep telling myself that I have a great life and it'd be stupid to give it up'

'You're so right in that! I also envy you for that' Katherine confessed.

'Well, your life is not that bad either' Lynette pointed out 'Or at least you seem very satisfied'

'Not at all, I'm a mess. I'm just good at making people believe that I'm stronger than I am'

'Correct me if I'm wrong, Katherine, but I seriously think that you're in quite a good situation. You have a job you love, your house is always amazingly clean, you have all the time you want for yourself and your hobbies… Yes, you might not have a man in your life, but… what the hell are they good for?'

'Hey, that's true!' Katherine exclaimed 'I don't know why we all make such a fuss of them. They are useless'

'Definitely!' Lynette agreed 'I know I have no right to complain – Tom is a saint, especially compared to many others. But geez, there are times when I really feel like returning him and buying myself a new one. Above all when he starts with his stupid ideas – the car, the whole learning Chinese thing, the pizza place…'

'How about the times when you just need to talk to someone and let it all out and they insist on giving you advice or sharing their pointless theories with you?' Katherine commented.

'Oh, that's a good one too. I'm sure such things would never happen with a woman'

'True. We are so much more sensitive, more caring… and more intelligent'

'Totally'

Katherine made a sign to the waiter. Even before she had the time to order, he had already brought two more tequilas.

'To women!' Katherine suggested.

'Sure, to women!' Lynette toasted.

They drank and bit their lemons to get rid of the bitter taste. Lynette's head was spinning. She felt thankful that she was sitting, as she would probably be unable to walk on a straight line anymore. Even so, she was having fun bitching with Katherine.

'But it's hard to live without them, isn't it?' she said 'In fact, you know one of the things I would have changed in my life? I wish I had had more experiences with men. After all, Tom is the only real lover I've ever had. Of course, I wouldn't do such a thing to him right now. I mean, if I could go back to the past, I would have liked to… don't know, try something else'

Katherine nodded and had a sip of the little tequila that was still left in her glass.

'What about you?' Lynette wanted to know.

The redhead stared at her friend confused.

'Yes, what would you change if you could go back in time?' the blonde insisted.

'Oh, that… I don't know' Katherine made a pause to think 'Well, right, there's just one thing, but… I don't think I should tell you. You'd laugh at me'

Even though there was not much light in the disco, Lynette could see that Katherine's cheeks had blushed. That, apart from looking cute, made her curious.

'Hey, why should I? We're ranting together. That means I rant, you rant. Feel free to say all the stupid things that occur to you. So now shoot it!'

Katherine hesitated a bit before answering the question.

'Ok' she finally gave in. She got closer to Lynette and whispered into her ear 'I would have liked to… try something with a woman'

'Are you serious?' Lynette exclaimed puzzled.

Blushing even more, Katherine made her a sign to lower her voice.

'You see? I shouldn't have told you. With this and what we've been talking about before… God, what would you be thinking of me? I bet I made you uncomfortable'

'No, no, it's not that' Lynette contradicted 'I'm just… surprised'

'Of course! Your boring, stuck-up neighbour who argues about some stupid pie complains about not having had sex with a woman. Isn't it ironic?'

'A little. But no, I didn't mean it that way. It's just… Well, it's never late, you know? After all, you're single and attractive'

'The hell attractive!' Katherine shouted.

'Hey, I'm sure you'd find lots of girls who'd like to be with you'

'Oh, please!'

'I'm serious. I'd totally do you! Especially after having seen you dancing'

Katherine laughed at that comment. Lynette began to play around nervously with her empty glass, tracing the edge with her finger. Suddenly, she realized that Katherine was staring at her with a smile she could not interpret.

'Why are you looking at me like that?' she wanted to know.

'Did you mean it?' Katherine asked.

'Hell, yeah!'

'Why don't you prove it, then?'

Lynette sighed, her eyes still on her glass. Then, not exactly sure what she was doing, she looked at Katherine again.

'What the hell!' she exclaimed before pulling her close to herself and kissing her passionately.

In a brief instant, she pressed her lips against Katherine's and traced the upper one with her tongue. Katherine's red lipstick did not only look good on her, but it also tasted nice. She broke the kiss quickly and gasped.

'God, I didn't just do that'

'You did!' Katherine's mouth was still open in surprise, but her eyes were smiling.

'Oh, God! You'll hate me tomorrow' Lynette avoided any kind of eye contact with her neighbour 'I should stop drinking'

'What?! No way, in any case you should drink more!'

'But Katherine, look what I just did…'

'I _loved_ what you just did. Come here!'

With her arms around Lynette's neck, Katherine kissed her back, not giving her time to defend herself. As her tongue explored Lynette's gums, the blonde could not help feeling a rush of excitement. Katherine caught Lynette's lower lip between her own and then did the same with the upper one.

'Do that again!' Lynette asked once the kiss was over.

Katherine laughed and repeated what she had done, just with as much passion as before, but more relaxed, knowing that her blonde friend would not pull away. This time, Lynette closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the kiss.

'God, who would have thought that you were such a good kisser?' she exclaimed.

The redhead flung her a seducing grin.

'I'm glad you liked that. Actually, there are some other things I can do very well'

'Like what?' Lynette challenged her with a smile.

'Like this'

Katherine got closer to her. Lynette felt her breath on the side of her neck and it gave her goose bumps. Then Katherine's tongue started tracing the contour of Lynette's ear, biting gently her earlobe and lingering a bit longer on the area between her earlobe and the beginning of her neck. The blonde moaned, noticing how her whole body was reacting to her neighbour's touch.

'Did you like it?' Katherine whispered in a sensual voice.

Instead of replying, Lynette turned to kiss her lips again. She liked the sensation of Katherine's mouth brushing against her own. Katherine put her arms around Lynette's waist and pulled her closer. Upon feeling her breasts pressing against her body, the blonde gasped inside the kiss.

'That was fuckin' amazing!' Lynette exclaimed.

'Hey, you're amazing too' Katherine responded 'Tom is a lucky guy'

'And Mike has no idea what he's missing. But you know what? Fuck him!'

Laughing contently, Katherine embraced Lynette, tracing circles with her fingers on the upper part of her back, which was naked. A sensation she could not describe washed all over Lynette's body. Once again, she felt the temptation to kiss her, and she did not resist it. And Katherine did not seem to dislike the situation either.

The closer they got and the more they kissed, the more intense the tickling Lynette sensed in her private area got. No doubt – she was getting turned on. She would have never thought a woman could have such effects on her. But she liked it. Perhaps it was just the alcohol, killing all her inhibitions, but everything felt natural and exciting. Not even for a second did she wonder what she was doing or why she was doing that.

Looking over Lynette's shoulder, Katherine saw an old man sitting at the bar staring at them. His eyes were full of lust and his legs were crossed, obviously trying to hide an erection. She also noticed other men's horny gazes and that made her uncomfortable.

'Dear, why don't we go to a quieter place before we become the show of the night?' she suggested.

Lynette pulled away slightly and looked at her confused.

'What do you mean?'

With a gesture, Katherine told Lynette to look around. As she realized how some men in the bar were staring at them like they were two pieces of meat, she blushed.

'Oh, god, that's embarrassing!' she giggled 'Where could we go?'

'I have another bottle of tequila at home' Katherine informed with a naughty smile.

'Yeah, that sounds good' Lynette replied.

'Let's go, then'

They did not even try to find Susan and Gabby to tell them that they were leaving. Giggling uncontrollably and kissing every now and then, they left the club together and searched a taxi to drive them back to the lane.

**To be continued…**


	6. 6 hours 45' before

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

2:15 a.m.

Luckily or unluckily, they never had that drink Katherine had promised. They got out of the taxi tangled in each other's arms, kissing fiercely. Barely controlling their steps, they got to Katherine's front door. It took some time until she managed to find the lock and open the door. The auburn-haired housewife felt Lynette's weight pushing her inside, lips against lips. A loud sound announced that something had just broken. The blonde saw Katherine's flower vase, the one she had on a small table next to the front door, torn into pieces on the floor.

'It's ok, it's fine' Katherine whispered against her mouth even before she could apologize.

Hand in hand, they ran upstairs to Katherine's bedroom. The door had just been closed when Lynette's back hit the wall violently.

'Take… off… the dress' Katherine panted between kisses.

Lynette obeyed and tried to unzip it from behind, but it was too hard. She turned so that Katherine could help her get rid of it.

'Oh, god! We're just too drunk!' she laughed, seeing that she was unable to unzip it.

Lynette was going to say something when she sensed Katherine's finger on her lips, telling her to be silent.

'It doesn't matter' Katherine whispered sensually and replaced her finger by her lips.

The blonde closed her eyes, kissing her back in a tender but passionate way. The tip of Katherine's tongue was trying to make its way through her lips. She parted them a little to let her in.

Suddenly, she moaned loudly into the kiss. Katherine had managed to slip her hand inside Lynette's dress and her finger was caressing its way to her core. Cupping the redhead's face with her hands, she planted a hungry kiss on her lips. Katherine smiled.

Her finger toyed around the area for a while, teasing Lynette. Katherine could feel her friend's underwear getting wetter and wetter with excitement. She tasted her mouth once more before going down slowly; kissing Lynette's chest and stomach through the thin fabric of her elegant dress. She looked very beautiful that way.

Lynette leaned against the wall, letting her head rest. She closed her eyes and let Katherine work her magic. The redhead was already pulling at the band of Lynette's underwear to get rid of it. Lynette helped her a little, parting her legs to let the panties fall to the floor. She kicked them away.

Katherine started by licking Lynette's ankles. The blonde moaned. Who would have thought they could be an erogenous zone? The tickling seemed to flow all over her body. Katherine kissed her way up the inside of Lynette's calves and thighs, biting gently from time to time. The closer she got to her private parts, the more Lynette moaned, getting excited by what was coming next.

Finally, a finger caressed from her clitoris to the entrance of her vagina. First softly, then a little bit more roughly, stealing powerful gasps from Lynette's throat. After teasing her for a while, Katherine slid her finger into her friend, making her give a start. With no warning, she began thrusting in an out, faster and faster. Lynette's back arched against her wall. Her legs nearly closed around Katherine's head, her whole body shaken by pleasure.

Shortly after, Katherine's tongue joined in, licking and sucking at her clitoris. Lynette felt her whole body reacting without her being able to control it. And she loved the sensation.

On the other hand, Katherine enjoyed the taste of her friend more than she would have ever expected. Her finger was already feeling at home, exploring the bumpiness of Lynette's inside. Yes, that was even better than she had imagined.

Lynette's legs nearly strangled her when the orgasm hit her. The blonde began to run her fingers in Katherine's hair, massaging her head gently, but also pulling her up. Answering her friend's call, Katherine began to stand up slowly until she was face to face with a breathless Lynette. With her hands on the redhead's shoulders, Lynette pulled her close to kiss her fiercely.

'Oh, God, that was…!' she could not find the words to describe it 'Are you sure you had never done this before?'

Katherine giggled softly.

'No, but I wonder why I didn't…'

Lynette pulled her close again to kiss her. With their eyes closed, both women let their tongues dance with each other, as they had themselves on the latin club hours before. Katherine's seemed to take control and started running around Lynette's teeth, eager to discover.

Slowly, the blonde started to push against Katherine, getting away from the wall without breaking the kiss. A few steps later, she cupped Katherine's face and pulled it away, telling her to stop. Then she pushed Katherine with strength until she fell on her bed.

Although surprised at first, Katherine's lips, which were slightly parted, curled into a naughty smile, alluring Lynette to join her. It did not even take her two seconds to do so. She sat next to her on the bed and they kissed, simultaneously helping each other to undress. Once Lynette was naked, she realized that Katherine's eyes were fixed on her.

'Oh, wow!' the auburn-haired woman exclaimed 'You're even more beautiful than I thought'

'I can say the same about you' Lynette smiled.

Quickly, she pushed her once more until she was lying on the bed, grabbing Katherine's hands with her own so that she could not move them. Katherine appeared to be very turned on by that. From her lips, which she was kissing passionately, Lynette moved to Katherine's delicious neck. Her skin smelled lovely, and it tasted even better.

Normally, after filling her friend's neck with kisses, her lips would have gone all the way down her chest and stomach on a straight line… But this time… this time she had something else to play with. Lynette had never touched a woman's breasts. She took a moment to observe them. They were so beautifully round! Forgetting about Katherine's hands, she caressed her breasts, which were bigger than they seemed when she was dressed. She kissed both her nipples and then began biting gently around her ribs, making Katherine giggle.

Lynette was looking forward to reaching the centre of Katherine's pleasure, wanting to discover that new territory, but she thought it would be a good idea to have some fun on the way… and tease her a little. Her tongue started tracing circles around Katherine's nipples. She got excited to feel them erecting with her touch. Of course, she was not new to sex, but seeing that she could cause such reactions was an amazing experience… even more taking into account that it was another woman.

She could not wait anymore. After making Katherine hungry by toying with her breasts, she covered her stomach in kisses and reached her core. Her friend gasped. The blonde ran two fingers around Katherine's private parts, exploring them. She noticed that her friend was wetter than herself, which she interpreted as a sign that she should get to the action. Slowly and carefully, she began to introduce her finger gradually, going in and out. Hearing her friend breathing heavily, she increased the speed.

It was strange to think that she was inside Katherine, but at the same time she liked the sensation. When she could not do it any faster, she let a second finger join in. Her red-haired lover welcomed this with a smile in her lips and a slightly louder moan.

Now Lynette was part of the other woman's pleasure. Whenever she felt the walls of Katherine's vagina closing around her fingers, a shiver of pleasure shook her whole body. And like this it was for a few minutes, until an explosion almost threw her fingers out of Katherine's body. She knew what had just happened. Therefore she left her fingers where they were, moving only a bit more slowly.

Giving a scream, Katherine sat up. She grabbed Lynette's wrist gently and pulled her fingers outside herself. The blonde smiled and sat up on the bed next to her friend.

'That was unbelievable!' she whispered, breathless and with tears of joy in her eyes, which showed the intensity of the pleasure she had felt.

They kissed once more, their arms wrapped around one another. During all evening, they had realized that there were many things they liked about each other, but in the past hours… The past hours had been special. Sitting there in that strong embrace, naked, skin on skin, looking into each other's eyes, they could feel that there was a bond between them.

Sighing, they both took a dive on the bed, their bodies still touching. They were tired and sweating, but there was an intense, indescribable happiness inside them. Katherine turned around and kissed Lynette's cheek.

'We should go out together more often' she said 'And have more tequila!'

'If it's going to end up like this, it's definitely worth giving it a try' Lynette smirked.

She turned to face her auburn-haired friend, who was lying next to her, and they kissed once more. Then she pulled Katherine up until she was on top of her. Katherine smiled. She knew what to do…

**To be continued…**


	7. 5 hours before

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

4:00 a.m.

Katherine ran her finger along Lynette's naked, flat stomach. Lying breathless next to her, Lynette looked shocked.

'Man, you're wild!' she exclaimed weakly 'Who would have thought!'

The auburn-haired woman giggled.

'I'll take it as a compliment'

'It was' Lynette nodded.

'Well, I'd be worried if you still had anything to complain about after having two orgasms in ten minutes' Katherine joked with a smirk.

'That had never happened to me before! Where did you learn to do that?'

'Learn what? I had never done this, I told you'

'Then you must have a natural talent'

Lynette's comment made Katherine smile. She slid closer to her and cuddled her.

'I also loved what you did to me' Katherine kissed Lynette's neck.

Lynette smiled and turned to face her. She covered Katherine's lips with hers and kissed her sweetly.

'But well, it was to be expected, wasn't it?' Katherine spoke on 'If you have so many kids, you must have lots of sex… so you must be really good in bed'

The smile was wiped off Lynette's face. The blonde felt tears beginning to sting her eyes. Katherine noticed it.

'Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry!' she apologized 'I know that was tasteless… Had a lot to drink, so forgive me if I start talking crap'

'No, it wasn't your fault'

A tear slid down Lynette's cheek.

'No, dear, don't cry!' Katherine begged 'I always cry when someone else is crying, especially when I'm drunk'

But that was too late. Lynette could not take it anymore and she broke into tears. Katherine held her tighter and kissed her cheek, trying to comfort her.

'I haven't told this to anyone' Lynette confessed 'I had an abortion three weeks ago'

'An abortion?'

Lynette nodded sadly.

'I got pregnant. With twins' she continued 'I know this will make me sound like a selfish bitch, but with Tom in college and having to take care of all my other kids… we just couldn't afford it'

'I understand' Katherine sighed 'But I didn't even know you were pregnant…'

'No-one but Tom and I knew. And I haven't even told Tom about the abortion'

'Why not?' Katherine wondered.

'It took him a couple of days to accept it, but he was so happy about having two more children… Besides, he was starting university, and I didn't wanna ruin his first days there. I'll probably tell him that I miscarried when he comes back'

'Aaaaw' Katherine buried her face in Lynette's neck and kissed her sweetly 'I'm so sorry for you!'

'No, it's fine. I guess it's just the alcohol that gets me more sensitive…'

'Probably. But hey, look on the bright side. You can't get pregnant after having sex with a woman…'

Both of them burst out laughing. It had been a silly comment, but it had definitely helped light the mood. Lynette dried her tears with her hand and turned to face Katherine again.

'You're such a good friend!' she said 'I should have tried to get to know you better'

Upon hearing this, Katherine started chuckling loudly.

'And here's drunken Lynette talking again!' she joked.

'Hey, I meant it seriously!' Lynette retorted.

'I'm sorry' Katherine apologized 'The whole phrase just sounded so much like drunken talk… But no, seriously, you said something really nice. And trust me I don't hear many nice things about myself lately'

'And I don't understand why!' Lynette exclaimed 'You're such a sweet and caring woman… and so sexy…'

'So are you' Katherine grinned to her.

'I know sometimes you can act like a bitch, but… well, who doesn't? Seriously, we should hang out more often'

'We can. We're having so much fun tonight… we should repeat this all again soon'

'I'm in!'

They kissed again. Katherine smiled and run her finger along Lynette's side, tracing the contour of her figure. Usually, she would not have considered her to be the kind of woman that would catch her eye, but seeing her lying naked next to her, she looked truly beautiful.

'What are you thinking?' Lynette wanted to know.

'Oh… nothing really. I was just… admiring your body'

'Liar!' Lynette giggled.

'You do have an amazing body. You should just show it off more often'

Lynette sighed.

'I've never been the pretty girl'

'You're hot, I'm telling you' Katherine insisted.

'Certainly not compared to you… You have bigger tits'

That comment made Katherine laugh.

'So?'

'Well, there's more to play around with' Lynette replied, as if it was the most natural thing to say.

'You little dirty-minded girl' Katherine giggled, biting Lynette's neck in a vampire-like way.

The blonde moaned, letting her friend bite her. Then she tilted her head and kissed her lips again.

'That was pretty hot, did you know that?' Lynette narrowed her eyes.

Katherine grinned and ran her fingers in Lynette's messy hair. She moved closer to her until their lips met and brushed against each other. Holding to the back of Lynette's neck, Katherine deepened the kiss and parted the blonde's lips with her tongue. Lynette moved her hand along the auburn-haired woman's back, giving her goose bumps. Katherine broke the kiss and looked at her friend with a naughty smile.

'Are you trying to turn me on by any chance?' she wondered.

'Of course not!' Lynette grinned 'If I wanted to turn you on, I'd do something like this'

Lynette's hand left Katherine's back and cupped one of Katherine's breasts. Her lips pressed sensually against Katherine's once more. And during the kiss, Lynette's index finger began tracing circles around Katherine's aureole, making her nipple get stiff. Katherine moaned into her friend's mouth.

'Damn, you're good at teasing!' she exclaimed with a smile.

'I'm certainly learning from the best' Lynette blinked her an eye.

Laughing, Katherine pulled her into a playful kiss. The blonde showed no resistance and even wrapped her arm around her friend, which she seemed to welcome. Suddenly, she felt Katherine's nails rubbing against her arm… and it felt good. Her hand, which was on Katherine's lap, made its way up her flat stomach to caress her breasts. Katherine let herself fall on the bed and grabbed Lynette by the shoulders until she was lying on top of her.

'Ooh, someone's insatiable tonight!' Lynette joked.

Katherine nodded with a naughty grin on her face. Feeling the sweet smell of her skin, Lynette began kissing along her collarbone. Katherine's hands massaged the blonde's back tenderly while she let soft moans of pleasure out of her mouth. It was almost hypnotic…

**To be continued…**


	8. 5 minutes later

**Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives or any of the characters. I do not own the play I named this fanfiction after either. No copyright infringement is intended.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

9:05 a.m.

'Lynette, are you alright?' Katherine asked, worried.

She was indeed alright, but too embarrassed to turn and face her friend. Remembering what had happened the night before killed the happy mood she had woken up in.

_Oh, no, Katherine?! Well done, Lynnie, you genius! I live on a street full of ladies and had to choose her to sleep with…_

'Lynette?'

_Ok, calm down… Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's just a dream. I'm not yet completely awake. Now I'm going to turn around and I'm going to see Tom. It's just a fantasy. Come on! One, two, three…_

To her dismay, when she turned, it was indeed Katherine who was lying next to her. The auburn-haired woman's expression changed from worry into a relieved smile.

'Good that you're awake. I already thought you had passed out again' she said.

Lynette's blood froze in her veins. She was unable to say a word. All she felt like doing was running away as fast as she could, but she was too weak to even get up.

'Katherine…' she mumbled faintly after a long pause 'Is… is that you?'

'No, I'm Dita von Teese, but sometimes I like to dress up as Katherine and get into bed with some random neighbour… what do you think?'

_How can she have enough energy to be so random at this time in the morning? Oh, god, I think I'm going to puke!_

Lynette jumped out of the bed and ran, covering her mouth with her hand. Every step that she took was like a hammer inside her head. Luckily, she found the bathroom quite quickly, so she could release herself. All the drinks she had had the night before – or probably everything she had drunk in her whole life, it seemed – flowed from her mouth to Katherine's toilet. And it felt awful.

Her stomach was burning and her throat was sore. With a disgusting taste in her mouth, she brushed some strains of her hair away from her face before getting up. As she turned, Katherine was standing by the doorstep, wearing a tiny nightdress. Her auburn hair was very untidy, but that gave her a bohemian touch. At that point, Lynette remembered that she was naked and felt the urge to cover herself.

'Come on, it wasn't that bad, was it?' Katherine joked.

Lynette was not in the mood for that kind of humor. Unable to utter a word, she just stared at Katherine. There were so many things in her head that she did not know where to begin.

_How on Earth could I sleep with her? With HER! For fuck's sakes, we're talking about Katherine! Oh, hang on! Maybe I didn't, after all. Anyway, there's just a way to find out…_

'Katherine...' she began 'Did we… do anything strange last night?'

Katherine smirked a little.

'Define strange'

'Well, you know… We've spent the night together, so I was wondering…'

'Whether we had sex?' Katherine guessed… and she guessed right.

'Yeah' Lynette replied.

Katherine rolled her eyes, as if trying to think about something or remember. Then, much to Lynette's shock, she nodded.

_I think I'd like to die right now…_

'Oh, shit!' she could not help saying, holding her head with her hand in desperation.

'Hey, don't get all uptight about it right now!' Katherine told her 'You looked like you were having fun last night, even the first time'

'The first time?' Lynette gasped 'Did we… did we do it more than once?'

Katherine showed Lynette three fingers.

'You passed out during the third time, so I don't know whether that counts' she pointed out.

'Oh my god! This is a nightmare!' Lynette whined.

She gave her back to Katherine and buried her head in the sink, like wanting to drown all that had happened. The redhead took a couple of steps closer to her and rubbed her back in a friendly way.

'Honey, it's fine' she tried to encourage her 'You didn't do anything wrong'

Lynette snorted.

'Yes, I did' she retorted 'I've cheated on Tom… three times!'

If she did not start crying at that very moment, it was because the whole situation was already embarrassing enough. She moved away from Katherine's hand and stumbled across her own reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and her face still had traces of the make-up she had not removed the night before.

_Oh my, I look so terrible! What have I done?! That's it – I'm not drinking ever again!_

'Hey, out of sight, out of mind' Katherine said.

'That doesn't change anything about the fact that I've cheated on him… or about the fact that now it's awfully awkward to be here with you'

'What's so awkward about this?'

'Well, take a wild guess' Lynette replied 'I've slept with you!'

'So?'

'It is… weird' Lynette said uncomfortable 'And it was a mistake. I've surely messed up what could have been a nice friendship for some stupid drunken fantasy!'

'You didn't mess anything up!' Katherine insisted 'And I don't think it was a mistake. Didn't we have a great night, after all?'

And there it was. The scariest thing of them all, standing in front of her in the shape of a question, staring at her in the eyes. In some way, she was thankful that another wave of sickness hit her at that moment, saving her from having to reply. She turned again and kneeled in front of the toilet. Katherine stood behind her and held her hair while she vomited.

'It's ok, it's ok'

Hearing the auburn-haired woman whispering into her ears gave her a shiver. But at that point, Lynette really wished she was not that caring. That was by far one of the most embarrassing moments in her life and all she wanted was to get out of that house and go back to hers. Yes, that was exactly what she needed. Going home to spend some quality time with her precious children and Tom.

_Oh, Tom… how could I do that to him? Wait, on the other hand… how could he do that to me? It was he who left me alone to follow his dreams of being young again. He was the one who left me here alone with… temptation. In some way, you could say it was his fault. Hell, no! What am I saying? How can I blame him for my mistake? I have to get out of here…_

'I have to go' Lynette announced once she was finally done throwing up.

Surprise could be read on Katherine's face.

'You have to go… now?'

Lynette nodded and looked around the room, trying to find her clothes. She finally saw her dress lying on the floor, next to her shoes. As she kneeled to pick them up, the hammering in her head became even more intense, forcing her to close her eyes.

'My children are waiting for me at home. I left them the whole night alone, I really have to leave'

'Aren't we going to talk about it?' Katherine asked behind her.

Lynette stood up quickly. She then turned to her and responded:

'I… really need to go'

Katherine grabbed her wrist, not letting her go. She took Lynette's chin with her other hand in order to force the blonde to look at her.

'Why don't you at least stay for breakfast?'

Lynette pulled away from Katherine and started to get dressed.

'I can't stay. What part of "my children are alone and waiting for me" do you not understand?'

She turned away from her auburn-haired friend and made her way downstairs, getting dressed on the way and hoping she did not look too bad. She could not let her kids see that she had a hangover, let alone see any signs of what had happened the night before. She was already by the door when Katherine, who had been following her, spoke again.

'We should talk about it though'

Lynette turned once more before walking out the door.

'There's nothing to talk about. We got drunk and went too far, that's all. Let's just forget this whole thing happened'

**The end?**


End file.
